The Great Cesspit Disaster

The Great Cesspit Disaster of 1040
In Shazim, in the Seljuk Empire, the city was divided in two: wealthy people living down by the harbor and poorer people living up in the hills. The sewage of the poor choked the streams and river, and the stink finally became so unbearable that the nobles demanded the Emir of Shazim do something. His solution was to dam one of the streams and have all the poor crap into it. And it worked. For two years, the Great Cesspit kept Shazim cleaner and sweet smelling. Of course the poor didn't like it. Especially when the lake of offal began to overtop the dam. The Emir ordered it be raised higher, which made the lake of crap creep into the homes of the poor.

Then, one torrid summer's day, the Emir was getting married. It was quite the international affair, and the crowning moment for Seljuk pride. At great expense, a massive festival was planned. Banquets prepared for a week of feasts. Parties for the wealthy.

All the while, behind a massive groaning wall, the Cesspit was ready. To be fair, the Emir HAD plans to do a scheduled release to drain the thing after the dignitaries had left. However, he hadn't planned on one Crupus Crantora. A ferrier who'd hadn't been paid for shoeing a noble's horse, he decided the start the celebration early on his way home. Thus, angry and drunk, he passed by the great dam and climbed up to add his contribution to the great sea of filth behind the wall. In doing do, he dislodged a chain holding the upper lip of the dam in place. Down below him, the party was reaching it's zenith as the wedding vows were about to take place.

The great wall let off a pop as the dislodged chain broke and a streak of brown ran down the surface. Then, with a colossal roar, the dam gave way and unleashed a fecal nightmare never before or since seen. It instantly over topped the stream and poured into the decorated villas, temple, and royal palace. Several thousand people died in reeking filth, including the Emir and his wife. The flow was so strong that it knocked several building off their foundations. The stink and disease that would accompany it would render the low city uninhabitable for a generation.

And Crupus? Well he watched the whole thing from the top of the broken dam and immortalized the following: "Whew, that was a big one!"

Two terms from Shazim remain: A "Shazim Wedding" is something wonderful that turns into an unexpected disaster. And "doing a Crupus" is a term for a massive bowel movement.